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| There are 21 entries in the glossary. |
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| Macroevolution | The result of microevolution over a period of several million years. |
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| Manna | Mate of Womanna. |
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| Mark | Christian story of the life of Jesus, initially recieving poor reviews so it contains two endings. Despite this further poor reviews necessitated a rewrite in the form of 3 other gospels. After decades of attempted inspiration, the Christian God finally managed to get a bible writer off his backside to write down the life of Jesus in this book. It is an important read as it contains important ideas which advanced medicine such as the demonic posession model of disease and how to use spit to heal. |
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| Marriage | - A sacred bond of man and woman before God, or in some instances of two men or two women (in rare occasions dogs have also been known to get married). This bond can only be broken by the death of one or the other, or through divorce, separation, or a sexy stripper called Leona. This ritual is often performed by a priest, or an Elvis look-a-like.
- From a pure Biblical standpoint, and as described in the Pentateuch, a legal transaction between an older man (the father of the bride) and a younger man (the bridegroom), involving the exchange of ownership of a valuable piece of property (the bride). Just as in modern property transactions, legal safeguards were needed to protect against fraud: defilement or theft were punishable, there was a fixed scale of prices, and sellers who misrepresented the value of what they had to sell were punished by having their goods destroyed. The idea that a woman was actually a person with her own rights would have seemed as silly to people of Biblical times as the idea that a house or an ox had any rights or purpose other than to be coveted by men (see the Tenth Commandment). It is truly scary that some people seriously think that the Bible is a suitable moral guidebook in the present age.
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| Metaphorical (bu*l/shi:t) | Written in a literal or strict sense but obviously wrong. (e.g. "Much of what is written in the bible is ~.") |
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| Methodist | Climbing the stairway to Heaven by meaningless "square-filling." Each check mark on the mass of blocks brings you that much closer. |
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| Microevolution | The parts of evolution that are so obvious even a YEC (Young Earth Creationist) cannot deny it. |
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| Middle-Eastern Trilogy | Also referred to as the sunstroke trilogy. Classical fantasy literature which originated in the Middle-East some three thousand years ago and is still popular among children and historians. Critics of this series state that the trilogy is essentially three very similar editions of the same book. |
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| Mildew | Greenish or reddish streaks on wall surfaces placed there by god. (Leviticus 14)The process of having this be declared clean is given using a live bird and the blood of a dead bird. Note well that a similar process also fixes skin rashes although for that one you need to shave your body twice. |
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| Miracle | - A seemingly random beneficial event, that was, in fact, random.
- A qualification for an incident, based on the belief that one beneficial event amongst thousands of negative ones cannot happen without the intervention of a magical being.
- A non-fatal lightning strike. ( Winning the Lotto without buying a ticket.) (see anti-miracle)
- Fatal lightening strike on a non-Believer or a non-fatal lightening strike on a Believer.
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| Mohammed | You ain't nothin' but Mahound, dog (mahound is an alternate, derogatory name for Mohammed) |
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| Moment of Silence | (as proposed to be used in schools) Prayer time. |
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| Monotheism | Belief in a single god, being The Father, The Son (optional), the Holy Ghost, three archangels (Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel), Satan, the archdemons, various angels and demons (many unspecified), etc. |
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| Monotheist | - Someone who is, in fact, an atheist toward all the gods people have ever invented, except one.
- Someone who is only one god away from being right.
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| Moral | A description that many theists use to describe the members of their own religion, despite the fact that a number of them break the law and their own commandments. (see immoral) |
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| Mormon | A version of Christianity that thinks it is 3 times better than other Christians, because in addition to an old World Book of Mythology (see Bible) it has a new world book of mythology (see Book of Mormon), a book of commandments (Doctrine and Covenants), and a really bad mistranslation of the Egyptian Book of the Dead (Pearl of Great Price). It is also the only religion that considers the Jews to be gentiles. |
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| Moses | The most common name given to pet birds by Pentacostal Christians. |
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| Mother Teresa | An overrated nasty old bitch who denied anesthetics to patients so they could share the pain that Jesus experienced on the cross. She also denied any family planning assistance to her patients because "it is unnatural", then went to the Mayo Clinic for a pacemaker implant. |
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| Mysterious Ways | An act, believed by Christians to have been committed by their God, that is so blatantly evil that they have to admit that they cannot reconcile it with their notion of a loving God. |
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| Mystery | An event not yet described in magical terms. |
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| Mythology | - A collective system of beliefs, typically attributed to primitive man's need to explain those phenomena he could not otherwise explain, e.g. thunder and lightning, most aspects the life cycle, seasons and weather. In more scientific cultures, the term mythology has devolved into somewhat of a slur. For this reason, most modern western religions prefer to use the word 'obvious' to describe this same concept.
- A collection of stories and tales once accepted as truth and believed by the faithful.
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Glossary V2.0 |