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| There are 33 entries in the glossary. |
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| Cardinals | Group of old men in Rome who, because they have been celibate all their lives, jealously restrict the amount of sex everyone else is allowed to have to the absolute minimum. |
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| Casino | A monstrous vampire in the shape of a big gaudy building, which feeds upon gullible people who tend to perceive patterns in randomness. (see also: church) |
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| Chariot of Iron | Device needed to defeat the Christian god |
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| Chick Tract | Simple-minded cartoon for simple-minded people, that illustrates how ridiculous the claims of the Bible are. (read some of them and decide for yourself) |
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| Christ | - Common word used to express annoyance.
- One of the most misused words known to man. It is the English, bastardized version of "khristós", a Greek word meaning both "annointed" and "savior". Commonly thought to be the last name of Jesus of Nazareth when it is, in fact, a title; in other words, he should be referred to as "Jesus the Christ". Don't let any Fundies hear you say that, though.
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| Christ, Accepting as your savior | Non-surgical lobotomy. |
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| Christian Religion, The | The world's largest insurance company. "Pay your premiums all you life and when the big accident comes, you will be in good hands. No one has ever asked for their money back."... nor has there ever been a demonstrated pay-off. |
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| Christian Values | A phrase used when you don't want to reveal what you really think about a subject and/or is trying to imply that anybody who disagrees is an immoral, unpatriotic atheist. It is especially useful on subjects such as capital punishment, child abuse, male supremacy, war, slavery and rape. Sex, sexuality and free thought...BAD....Repression, suppression and violation...GOOD.
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| Christian Fundamentalist | - A person who ascribes to the basic beliefs and teachings of Jesus Christ (e.g., "don't judge others," "live humbly and simply," "treat everyone equally as if they were your brother or sister,") and demonstrates same by castigating, attacking and reviling anyone who does not think precisely the same things they do, often telling them they will be damned to hell for said lack of agreement. (see also Hypocrisy)
- Somebody who believes that, before the language even existed, everybody spoke in an extremely awkard Victorian English.
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| Christian love | - (See atrocity)
- Having complete, true and unconditional love for everything and everyone...except for the things and people who you hate.
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| Christian Voodoo | The correct way to refer to what a Christian who is trying to convert you is telling you (i.e. "Keep your Christian Voodoo to yourself").
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| Christianity | A religion that started many bloody wars, some lasting several decades, as well as inspired pogroms in which nonbelievers were slaughtered on a mass scale. A religion that did nothing to halt the practice of slavery. A religion that for centuries suppressed dissent and the pursuit of knowledge by torture and execution. A religion that only started to behave in a manner marginally resembling "good" when enlightened secular societies succeeded in pushing forth the separation of church and state, the result being that the church could no longer use bloody force to achieve its ends and thus had to put on some semblance of a humanist face to entice followers instead. - Second installment of a fantasy trilogy. (see Middle-Eastern trilogy)
- splinter sect of Christianity that firmly believes it is monotheistic, despite the fact that it worships three beings (see Father, Son, and Holy Ghost).
- A good religion which is very different from the bad ones. See http://www.funnystrange.com/quiz/
- A religion invented by people too boring to create more than one deity.
- A religion based on the idea that because its God temporarily sacrificed a small part of itself for three days, every other person ever born after that must sacrifice every thing they have to it and its representatives on Earth... whether they want to or not.
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| Christmas | A time when people get together and offer each other gifts in the spirit of receiving more of the above mentioned gifts... Unless you're poor, in which case weather and lack of nourishment will likely kill you and your loved ones. Also known as the happiest time of the year, and the time when suicide rates summit.
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| Church | A place where it is taught that we should treat each other equally and fairly yet demands freedom from taxation. |
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| Circular Argument | (See circular logic) |
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| Circular Logic | (See circular reasoning) |
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| Circular Reasoning | (See circular argument) |
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| Clairvoyant | Someone who charges $40 to give you his two cents. |
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| Clergy | - A horde of paedophile, "celibate" parasites who can't get a useful job.
- A great way for governments to waste taxpayers' money.
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| Closed System | - The bit of the Second Law of Thermodynamics which creationists ignore when trying to use it to prove that evolution cannot occur.
- The mind of a creationist.
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| Cognitive Illusion | - The tendency of the mind to think that something "makes sense", when it doesn't. For example, the following two sets of results from tossing a coin equally likely, though one seems more "random": HHHHH vs. HTTHT.
- The reason that many erroneous, superstitious beliefs get to be widely accepted.
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| Commandment | Rule invented by Christians for non-Christians to obey.
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| Common Sense | Euphemism for "superstitious belief." The quaint notion that beliefs passed down through the generations are more reliable than more modern ideas. Ignores the influences of cultural bias and cognitive illusion, which tend to make "common sense" commonly just plain wrong. |
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| Conservative | A person that cares about your personal life in the name of god, but then again doesn't give a damn if you lay off 1,000 workers for no real reason. (See right-wing ideology) |
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| Constitution | A very important document in America, that must always be followed, except in cases where it limits Christianity's ability to impose its religion on others.
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| Contradiction | - An invisible biblical error otherwise known as Truth. A method used by God to test gullibility.
- An illusion commonly seen in Holy Scripture by those under the influence of Satan. Their illusory nature is amply proven by the fact that "True Believers" never see them.
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| Covet | To desire another's possession -- for example, your neighbor's ox, or his ass, or his wife, or his wife's ass. |
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| Creation | A member of the genus "Homo", species "cretin", whereby the main differential characteristic between this and Homo sapiens is that the species contains a cognitively non-functioning brain and does not contain the frontal lobes. This evolutionary adaptation has been found to be caused by the gradual lack of use of the brain in reasoning and logic and the erosion of costly, unused cerebral tissues. The creature is also commonly known to have a quite irreverible growth upon either one of the hands or under one arm, termed Biblitis nonsensicus. It is believed this species is endangered with extinction. |
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| Creation Science | - A commonly used example when explaining "oxymoron".
- A pseudoscience that succeeds only in proving that theists' view of the world is so warped that they believe that they are entitled not only to their own opinions, but their own facts.
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| Creatonist | A member of the genus "Homo", species "cretin", whereby the main differential characteristic between this and Homo sapiens is that the species contains a cognitively non-functioning brain and does not contain the frontal lobes. This evolutionary adaptation has been found to be caused by the gradual lack of use of the brain in reasoning and logic and the erosion of costly, unused cerebral tissues. The creature is also commonly known to have a quite irreverible growth upon either one of the hands or under one arm, termed Biblitis nonsensicus. It is believed this species is endangered with extinction. Somebody who feels "dehumanized" by the fact that we evolved from lesser life, but has no problem with the myth that we were created from dust. A person, typically of Jewish/Christian/Muslim background, who rejects scientific evidence about evolution and geology, opting instead to believe that, 6 millennia ago, an ancient Palestinian deity created people from dirt.
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| Cretin | A stunted or intellectually subnormal person, came into English in the 18th century from Franco-Provençal creitin or crestin, both derived from the Old French "chretien" (Lombard, cristanei) meaning "Christian"!
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| Cross | - A device used to kill the savior of the Christian religion.
- A symbol frequently used to indicate the Christian religion and which is used during its practice.
- The way people feel when someone tries to shove the Christian religion down their throats.
- A gold ornament to be worn around the neck to show that you're not Jewish.
- Symbol constructed from two lines intersecting at right-angles. The equal-armed cross commonly symbolizes the sun, and the unequal-armed cross the phallus. Both symbols represent life, vitality, strength etc.
Certain death centered religions have been known to use the unequal-armed phallic cross hung upside-down (longer arm down) in the "limp" position symbolizing death, negation, weakness etc. (see stauros)
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| Cult | - What Christianity once was.
- A relatively unpopular religion perceived by Christians as being based on false teachings, often founded by a charismatic, inspiring leader. Yet another example of how blind to irony Christians can be.
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